I stumbled upon this old pic on my computer , that's me, second from the left (brown shirt and blue jeans), I know, I don't see "me" either. This picture was taken at a staff bowling night about 10 years ago.
What an odd feeling, really, when I look at this pic it is totally not "me". I don't even know if I can sum this into words.
When I was that size I never really thought I was, sounds odd I'm sure! I would see pictures of myself and I never really thought it looked like me, I always thought the camera added alot of pounds, ALOT! I used to have a hard time fitting into the seats at the movie theatre and heaven forbid a downtown Toronto theatre (did that only a few times and I will not forget, still probably have the side sores from those times!) and I still never fathomed that I was the size that I was, regardless of the fact that the scale had a very high number.
Denial, absolute denial!
Looking at this picture almost makes me sad, there were so many things that the excess weight kept me from doing, I just hadn't realized it at the time. The fact that I smoked at the time as well certainly didn't help the situation. I used to be winded just trying to walk down the street, up a small hill or a flight of stairs. Really it didn't take much, and just think of how hard my body had to work to simply function.
I always thought I was "big boned", once I changed my life and lost the weight I quickly realized that I am far from "big boned" and it was simply an excuse for being how I was and one that people use far too often.
Many people struggle with their weight, even when they try and make all of the right changes, sometimes there are other issues involved, not just eating habits and exercise but something metabolic or hormonal that needs to be addressed. Sometimes you need to try a different approach, one out of the norm and be open minded in order to reach your goals.
The biggest challenge in order to make a change, whether its weight, smoking, attitude, lifestyle etc, the challenge itself doesn't matter. It is simply this:
"If you do what you've always done, you'll get what you've always gotten" Tony Robbins quote
My habits are still not perfect, my weight is not at my "ideal", I don't get to the gym as many times a week as I would like, however I make sure that I constantly put forth an effort to ensure I don't end up like I was in that picture and in the end thats what really counts.
Hey Angela -- Carly here from Sweet World Media! Found this linked, somehow, from the Real Bodies Facebook page. Thanks so so much for this. I am in this EXACT spot right now in my life. Tremendous (like 30 lbs) weight gain in the last year due to meds, depression, illness, a very sedentary job and not-so-stellar evening eating habits. I feel the same when I see pics of myself as well, particularly the most recent ones taken just this week on our camping trip. I could. not. believe. that was me. T'was a big wake up call, and a big fat reminder to DO something about it. Thanks so much for sharing your story here.
ReplyDeleteGlad you found my link and left your thoughts. A wake up call can come in so many forms and just simply being in tune to it opens you up to a world of change and possibilities! I wish you much success on your own journey, let the adventure begin!
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