Owning an old home and what it taught me

12 years ago today, I became a first time home owner. I counted down the months and days until that old falling apart home was mine. Little did I know just how many lessons that house would teach me.

I no longer own that home, it was more than I or my marriage at the time could certainly handle. That old house took on more water than I care to ever encounter again! I don’t believe the “old’ house was ever very good for my daughter who spent her first 3 years in that home and constantly sick, beyond typical toddler illness’s at that. We sunk thousands of dollars and thousands of hours into that old house but it was never ending and at the right time, we bailed on it.

Yet……..

I wouldn't trade all of those hours of hard work for anything.

If I had purchased a brand new sub division home, I would never have encountered or understood:

·         What lathe and plaster walls are

·         Knob and tube wiring

·         Knowledge that some people are just not cut out for home improvements (you find this out when you tear down walls and see what some people do (or neglect to do!))

·         Probably never would have understood the true importance of a well-functioning sump pump

·         Valued the character of an old house (and of ourselves and each other)

·         Understood the beauty of old tree’s, yet understood the powers of Mother Nature

·         Learned that I love ripping apart things way more than putting them back together…..I don’t have the patience nor the skill to do so, yet follow direction well

·         Love the feeling of sore muscle and aching hands after a hard day’s work (which will never come from sitting behind a desk all day)

·         Appreciate a fully accessible basement and would prefer to never have a “cellar” again

·         A sense of awe at what you may find when digging in your garden, you never know what people may bury over time

·         Value imperfections, especially well-worn wood floors which bare their marks which simply adds to their character and story (much like the scars on our own bodies)

·         Understood that “custom fit” is not an option yet a necessity with old homes, nothing is built to today’s standards and must be made to fit or special order (which also costs a lot more money!)

·         Felt and seen ghost like visions and a certainty that they truly do exist

·         Valued closets and storage, because it completely lacks in older homes and was not needed as it is it today’s world of overabundance of all things

·         Slept in the cold with no upstairs heat vents

·         Lived without air conditioning and appreciate the luxury of it

·         Understood the importance of teaching children how to navigate the narrow/steep staircases at a very young age

·         Responsibility and to expect the absolute unexpected

Some people thought it was crazy to buy that old falling apart home and maybe financially it was not the best decision ever made, however the personal growth and understanding that I learned of myself and the character that I learned of others was worth every bit of it.

Would I do it again….HELL YES…they are a labour of love and a test of patience, much like parenting a toddler. Just when you think it’s tested your limits, you realized just how far you can be pushed and end your days with a sense of accomplishment (and sometimes lots of worry!)

Sometimes all we need is that inner silence

Do you ever just take a few moments to feel alive?

Alone, no telephone ringing, no text message beeping, no notifications going off, no music playing, no traffic buzzing, no "mom", no "honey", no one and nothing except the sounds of nature and your inner self.

Why is this such a difficult thing for so many of us to find the time to do? Are we really that "needed" that we cannot find more moments like this?

Stepping outside and stepping away, even if it's only stolen in mere minutes here and there is probably one of the most essential things you can do for yourself.

Breathe, breathe in the open air, put your face up to the sun, listen to the birds, listen to the wind and the trees and watch life unfold in front of you, yet at such a different pace than what you are constantly living in.

Perspective comes to you in waves when you take these moments. It's amazing how all of a sudden  something that you've been pondering and mulling over and trying to pinpoint your emotions on, can all of a sudden become crystal clear and so simple. It can actually make you smile, giggle and even shake your head at the fact that you've yet again been over thinking the hell out of whatever it is so badly that you're frazzled and unable to form any rational thoughts.

Today I watched a squirrel jump from tree to tree, it was at least a 10 foot leap, it flew thru the air and I was sad that I didn't have my camera poised to catch the shot, it was amazing to see. It reminded me of a quote a good friend shared with me a while ago:

"Leap and the net will appear"

So absolutely true. In the instance of the squirrel it was a branch, but you get my drift.

This brought my thoughts to another friend and their quote from a few years ago, something to do with deserving a second chance or a do over, or to start again. At the time, I thought they were nuts!

But it was the truth, although at the time I couldn't see it or understand it, nor did I feel as though I deserved it. Yet, we all deserve it, I just hadn't found the one that would open my eyes to this and make it so crystal clear. No matter our age, our circumstances, our situation, nothing matters, we all deserve happiness in whatever form that works for us.

We all have one life ahead of us and it's within our own power to make it our own. Go with your gut, do what you feel is right for you and live your life to be the utmost wonderful, most enjoyable days. It's your life, live it to your fullest adventure and take every risk that comes your way (as long as it puts a smile on your face and a giggle within your heart).